Kidnapping Dimitri and Adrian!
by JediPrincess-Knight
Summary: I kidnap dimitri and adrian. kidnapping's been done before but this is me being bored.  also we're bring in some Whedonverse, Vampire Diaries, Interview w/ the Vampire, Mortal Instruments, And SUPERNATURAL!
1. The Kidnap

**So i get bored easily. I've also been reading fics where people kidnap fictional character sooo I'm gonna kidnap Adrian Ivashkov (*drool*) and Dimitri Belikov (*double drool*)**

**a 14-yr old girl can dream...**

**disclaimer: i don't own mmm..**_**dimitri or adrian**_

**Didn't hear me. I DONT OWN DIMITRI OR ADRIAN THERE I SAID IT! NOW LET ME GO CRY!**

**At home, I gots an ipod plugged in, full blast when Dimitri and Adrian just materialized in my house. I looked up from Entertainment Weekly to see them. **

me: "Holy shnapples! It's adrian and dimitri."

adrian: "where the f*** am i?"

dimitri: "yeah, where are we?"

me: "wow, they pulled through."

dimitri & adrian: "who's they?"

me: "..., look it's dimitri and adrian! anyways i just fictionally kidnapped you sooooo um yeah. LET'S GO TO TASU AND GET CANDY AND WATCH ME JUMP OFF ROOFS!'

adrian: "is vodka in this?"

dimitri: "what?"

me: "schweet, vamos boys, we're going to six flags."

_**after six flags, where adrian has snuck in a freaking flask and got us kicked out, didn't stop me and dimitri from sneaking back in and riding tatsu**_

me: ".epic!"

dimitri: "adrian getting drunk wasn't part of the plan."

adrian: "plan,schlan. I swear.. i'm not.. *hiccup* drunk."

me: "adrian, cut it out! if my mom finds out you emptied the wine cellar, you're dead meat."

adrian: "pff whatever."

me: glares at adrian "You're paying for the wine, fyi."

dimitri: "why does your mom keep the wine cellar open?"

me: "i dunno, she probably thinks i don't have people over that finish the damn cellar in two days."

dimitri: "speaking of which, where's your family.

me: my sister,brother and dad are somewhere and my other sister's with her friends and my brother's at work and my mom's at work.

i dunno, let me go call my friend over. She'll want to talk to you.

me: (on phone) Oh hey Adian, guess what?

me: (again) what? no way? GET OUT!

ahaha anyway guess what again?

me: (in outrage) what? NO EWW YOU SICK FREAK!

me: (slams phone) Oh wait. shit, i was gonna tell her you guys were here. ah well, let's go do some other fun stuff like... get kicked out of the movie theaters

_**adrian, dimitri and I at movie theater watching Eclipse where I stood up and shouted at the screen that real vampires don't sparkle and this movies was bullcrap.**_

_**adrian and dimitri watched as i was chased by movie security and hid behind the popcorn machine**_

_**then the guys come out.**_

dimitri: that...was...awful!

adrian: *drunk again, GOD ADRIAN I THOUGHT YOU PUT THIS BEHIND YOU* edward is so...hwhipped.

me: hehe, you said hwipped.

adrian: *still drunk* hwhipped, hwhipped, hwhipped,ÅhwhippedÅCÅhwhipped.

dimitri and me: SHUT UP!

adrian: *passed out*

dimitri: well then...

me: oh this so much fun! i love drawing on peoples faces when they can't do anything to stop me *takes out magical sharpie and starts drawing*

dimitri: ...

me: wanna give it a shot? *shows sharpie* come on, you know you wanna try *moves sharpie in front of his face*

dimitri: *grabs sharpie, starts drawing*

me: MUAHAHAHA

**HAHA, i wrote this last night. HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL! and let's here what adrian and dimitri gots to say about this.**

**dimitri: *sarcastic* this was entertaining **

**adrian: *pass out***

**me: was drawing on adrian fun?**

**dimitri: ... yes!**

**me: well this was entertaining.**

**dimitri: nu-uh you kidnapped us.**

**me: *whips out branch* what now?**

**dimitri: you can't hurt me, you're just a teenager half my age.**

**me: *smacks dimitri into submission* what was that?**

**dimitri: owwww...**

**me: well see you all later. ADRIAN! DIMITRI! say bye to the readers**

**adrian: *passed out***

**dimitri: OWWWW.**

**me: it's fine. BYEZ!**


	2. Fight Club!

**Buenos dias, children your favorite author JediPrincess-Knight with her two favorite and hot (*drools*) fictional characters, Adrian and Dimitri.**

**Dimitri: get on with it.**

**Adrian: yeah, i've got places to be.**

**me: *whips out crowbar* what was that?**

**dimitri: (in my face) get on with the story.**

**adrian: yeah, beeyotch.**

**me: *smacks adrian unconscious***

**I own nothing except this wacky piece of fiction. And the crowbar. sadly dimitri and adrian belong to richelle mead.**

**happy.**

**Dimitri: very. and can you- **

**meL (with the threatening crowbar) **_**don't**_** push it.**

me: that was fun, being grounded is fun.

dimitri: no, you beating adrian was fun. this is not.

me: gosh you complain a lot for a fictional character.

adrian: (cricket, cricket)

Me: i'm a tell you about how we got in this position **flash back 5 hours ago.**

me: i'm bored, let's go get pie.

dimitri: let's cook it instead.

**several hours later, following a mini-explosion, with okay pie and dimitri wanting to murder me.**

me: _excuse me for not reading the frikkin' instructions. _I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT OUT OF THE TIN PLATE!

dimitri: *facepalm* it was in big letters on the front.

me: (holding pie) fine then, _you_ eat it.

dimitri: no!

me: yes.

dimitri: no!

me: DAMN IT YES! **slams pie in dimitri's face**

haha, you have it now.

dimitri: _run. _now

me: shit!

**dimitri's chasing me for half an hour before he realizes that i left.**

**he has no idea i'm so ninja that i managed to get on the ceiling**

dimitri: oh jazmin, come here. I want to make peace.

me: _thinking, how the fudgers does he know my name? _Oh well, i fall from the ceiling and knock dimitri unconscious.

me: whoops.

_**half an hour later with MangoTango450 aka Aidan!, where we have set up bets with random fangirls of adrian and dimitri's seeing who will wake up first.**_

aidan: this is fun!

me: i know!

aidan: we need something better though. what?

me: OH I KNOW! . though no one dies or mentally wounded- then

aidan: aww!

me: with these two fighting and christian will come in.

aidan: CHRISTIAN!

me: (already has a fight arena in the room, with a microphone) let's go ladies and gentlemen, place your bets on the fight of the Vampire Academy series; Adrian and Dimitri, one on one, a fight (lowers voice down then brings it back up) _to the death!_

aidan: (in a front row seat, whispers to me) where's christian?

me: he'll come. 3...2...1.

**the room arrives as two hooded figures got christian**

me: HUZZAH! he's here. AIDAN, CHRISTIAN'S HERE!

aidan: YEAH! (grabs christian and fills him in. The she ties him to a chair next to her)

me: (adrian and dimitri waking up) Yes! Ladies and gentlemen, the fight shall commence.

crowd: WOOT! (in the background 'dimitri fans' and 'adrian fans' getting into heated shouts)

me: (rushing to adrian and dimitri) oh hey guys, i took the time to set up a fight for the both of you. _against each other._

belikov & ivashkov: WHY!

me: figured, why not make an extra buck soooo that's how we got here. OH and christian's here. he's tied up with aidan so yeah.

adrian: who the fuck is aidan.

me: shut up and fight

belikov & adrian: NO!

me: Uggh fine (takes out phone) let's see . currently the money i'm making here is well up in the thousands category.

the guys: how?

me: this is being broadcasted live via youtube and facebook and etc.

here you guys fight, you'll each get a 10 percent cut and adrian you can have a wine cellar. also rose is- fuck it can't lie- doing her rose thing.

dimitri/adrian: 30 percent, with a bar!

me: no 15 percent. we'll think about the bar.

adrian: deal!

dimitri: fine...

me: excellent. now on with the fighting. KO's only.

(to crowd) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, the match will begin. KO's only.

(ring the bell and sit by aidan where we got front row seats; punches are thrown)

me: *In announcer voice* dimitri looks like he'll win but OH NO! ivashkov comes back strong.

the russian just rebounds off him. BAM!

OH THAT ONE'S GONE HURT IN THE MORNING!

me: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A WINNER! BELIKOV!

*crowd goes wild and everyone leaves except me,aidan, christian, adrian and dimitri are left*

me: epic. I made over 3,000 bucks.

aidan: i have christian.

adrian: i want my bar now.

me: ahaha , yeah right, you still gotta pay for the wine cellar. my mom;s gonna be soo pissed at this.

dimitri; she;s here.

me: Ahh shit! hide!

me and aidan: hey what's up?

mom: nothing, **looks around suspicously and heads to her cellar which is wine deprived.**

aidan; maybe she won't notice.

me; wait for it. waiiiitt. wait. now.

mom: **jasmin labrada que chingados estavas pensando quando esistes esto?**

me: so. screwed..

aidan: *with christian* BYE!

me: uggh.

**flashback ends revealing a passed out adrian, a pissed off Dimitri and a psychotic 14- year old.**

me: it could be worse.

dimitri: How? (sarcasm hand is so high now, it's not even funny)

me: we could have christian in here.

**christian walks in.**

dimitri: speak of the devil.

me: oh shit-

**mom overhears, what were you gonna say.**

me: _shitake mushrooms! _

dimitri: **gives me the evil eye**

me; Oh HELLS no are you blaming this on ME, it was your STUPIDITY that AGREED WITH MY SCHEME. SO WE"RE BOTH SCREWED. _**takes crowbar and whacks dimitri several times screaming beeeeetch!**_

**me: so... i have a **_**slight **_**mental problem**

**dimitri: *in pain* **_**slight?**_

**me: don't push it, russian. You will see me when I'm pyschotic and your gonna pray to hell that they stop me before I shove you -**

_**is caught by adrian**_

**adrian: we are SO sorry you had to witness that.**

**me; PUT ME DOWN OR I"LL BITE YOU!**

**adrian: **_**laughs then swears when I bite him**_

**me:****COME ON GIRLS I COULD KICK YOUR ASS FIGHT-CLUB STYLE!**

_review with a cherry on top, mangotango450, if you r reading this. we're gonna have some fun with this weird fic of mine :D_

_xoxo CRAZY BLEEP JAZMIN._


	3. Sass

**hey people's sorry about my last mental breakdown. I was off my meds and dimitri doesn't know when to shut up. hence me acting out with a crowbar**

**dimitri: it hurts by the way.**

**me: aww boo hoo, cry me a river, build a bridge and GET OVER IT! No one likes an attention whore! **

**adrian: SNAP!**

**dimitri: SHUT UP!**

**me:HAHAHAHA.**

**dimitri: *mutters under his breath***

**me: I HEARD THAT. rude...**

**dimitri: **_**i'm **_**rude for talking and **_**you're **_**a saint for being nuts and smacking me with crowbars**

**me: *does that little trick where it's like your scratching your head excepts with the middle finger so you're just flipping them off***

**dimitri: grr...**

**adrian: i'm bored, LETS HAVE A PARTY!**

**me: NO! i'm still grounded **_**for the damn WINE CELLAR! **_**we are **_**not **_**throwing a party.**

**adrian: *with a phone* not if i call first .**

**me: *screams whilst attacking adrian, thus tying him up to a chair and me dancing in victory.**

**dimitri: why don't you let me handle this?**

**me: UH-uH! i'm boss here, you're imaginary.**

**dimitri: AM NOT! i have feelings and love rose and -**

**me: likes cowboy books and has a tormented soul and is so freaking thick-headed that I was seriously considering chucking the book at the walls.**

**dimitri: you know this because?**

**me**_**: because of a freaking **_**series! **_**HE**_**LLO, there's like a series following you, Rose and the gang and yeah it's complicated.**

**dimitri: how?**

**me: i might confuse that small brain of yours so here. (throws VA,FB,SK,BP,SB, and LS to Dimitri) **

**dimitri: okay...**

**me: get comfortable, it took me a week to read all those together. so **_**enjoy **_

**dimitri: ...**

**me: shut up, adrian, let's go party up with aidan.**

**adrian: YEAH, bye cradle-robber, i'm leaving with out psycho jailer.**

_**a couple hours later with me and aidan drooling while adrian finishes the bar then we stop soo we go home where we see dimitri's happy and the books are done. show-offy bastard.**_

**me: so you've finished them huh?**

**dimitri: YES ROZA! in YOUR FACE, IVASHKOV, ROSE PICKED ME OVER YOU.**

**me & aidan: **_**SHH! he's still deluded that rose wants him, don't say shit, dimitri!**_

_**(**_**both guys are now tied up, again)**

**aidan: wow, we're crazy.**

**me: no, we're SCHMAZING.**

**aidan: we got sass.**

**me: we've got attitude.**

**dimitri and adrian: SHUT THE FUCK UP!**

**aidan and me: NEVER!**

_**and that's all for today **_**:D **_**TUNE IN, TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER WHERE... RANDOM CRAP HAPPENS,**_

_**AND BELIKOV AND IVASHKOV FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES...**_


	4. OH SNAPS!

_**disclaimer: true story and currently happening, also i do NOT own these guys except the story**_

**Dimitri: Well everyone this chapter will be narrated by me and Ivashkov here because Jazmin here had a psychotic/mental breakdown.**

**Ivashkov: She's flipping out, over, **_**head **_**freaking **_**phones**_

**me: AHHHHHHH, DON'T JUDGE ME! (*goes over to beat adrian*) **

**dimitri: her headphone jack was crushed and umm, let's say, she lost her marbles. **

**me: THEY WERE A CHRISTMAS GIFT, BITCH! I NOW HAVE TO GO A WHILE WITHOUT LOUD MUSIC AND DEFYING CRAP. AHHHHHHHH!**

**adrian: **_**buy her a pair, **_**any **_**pair, just make it stop.**_

**(jazmin who has now gone to plugging hear ears with her fingers...)**

**Dimitri: she's started to sing Buffy the **_**freaking musical. **_

**me: **_**so give me something to sing about,,ahhhh, there was no pain, no fear, no doubt 'cuz I live in hell...**_

**Dimitri and Adrian: Send in the headphones NOW! **

**me: AHHHHHHHHH! SCOTT PILGRIM! YEAHH!**

**(jazmin has sung around 150 songs with bad pitch and she's tied me and adrian to a chair so we can stop telling her to shut up)**

**dimitri: please, have mercy...**

**me: AIN'T NO REST FOR THE WICKED, 'TILL WE CLOSE OUR EYES FOR GOOOOOD. **

**dimitri: stop. NOW.**

**me: SO ALL THE CRITICS WHO DESPISE GO AHEAD AND CRITICIZE US, IT'S YOUR TYRANNY THAT DRIVES US, ADDS THE FIRE TO OUR FLAMES.**

**adrian and dimitri: GROAN IN DEFEAT**

**me: lalalalalalalalalalala **_**insert random song here **_**lalalalala**

**dimitri: **_**and that's currently continuing so if you have a heart, please send in headphones. any kind, just anything to get her to shut up and resume her last bit of sanity**_

**me: SHUT UP BELIKOV YOU RUINED THE PART I WAS IN (*thwacks with crowbar*)**

**adrian: **_**help...**_


	5. Crazed

**Oh hey everyone it's your favorite crazy fourteen year old, Z zizzle!**

**AND THE CROWD GOES WILD. SOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING AS MUCH. SCHOOL SUCKS AS USUAL AND THE WEATHERS BIPOLAR AND I HAVE TO CATCH UP ON WHITE COLLAR AND BEING HUMAN ( syfy) AND IT WAS SOO GOOD BUT NOT LIKE THE BBC ONE AND I HAVE MY WRITING CAREER TO START AND AHH I'M SORRY!**

**I AM JUST **_**ONE **_**PERSON!**

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**onwards!**_

**me: **_**so I finally got new headphones. SCHWEET! All it takes it some begging and lots of patience (hehehehehe) **_**ALSO MY BIRFDAY WAS THIS SATURDAY AND IT WAS EPIC! I GOT CAKE AND BOOKS AND TORCHWOOD (captain jack = H**_**OT)**_

**AND MORE BOOKS AND TORCHWOOD AND CAKE AND SODA AND yeah it was **_**awesome.**_

**dimitri: the important part is she has headphones now. that's all that matters.**

**me: stuff it russian (**threatens with crowbar of doom, i'll call it CAPT. JACK!)

**dimitri: she's gotten a new obsession now. With Torchwood. and it's pretty scary.**

**me: (**in the middle of a breakdown) **THEY KILLED OWEN THREE TIMES UNTIL HE FINALLY DIED IN A NUCLEAR REACTION AND TOSH WAS SO SCHMAZING BECAUSE I LOVE THE NERDY PEOPLE IN SHOWS AND STUPID GRAY SHOT HER, YOU BEEEEEEETTTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHH!-**

**dimitri: she's been doing this for days. **_**DAYS!**_

**me: ! AND THEN THEY KILLED IANTO AND I WAS LIKE !**

**dimitri: **_**okay on with the story. sorry about that. oh and by the way, Christian's gonna be here.**_

**aidan: (**where the fuck did she come from**!) YEAHHHHHHHHHH!**

_**me: i don't own dimitri, adrian and anyone else mentioned here. except... MA HEADPHONES! oh and my schmazingness!**_

regular day with aidan , dimitri, a *sober* adrian (snap!), and christian. OH AND MY IPOD AND HEADPHONES. I LOVE THESE THINGS!

**dimitri's reading a western novel... Adrian's playing video games with christian and me and aidan are lying on the floor (due to LA's bipolar weather. **_**bitch**__**.**_

me; i'm bored

aidan: me too

me: what do you wanna do?

aidan: i don't know. what do you wanna do?

me: i dunno. what do you - I GOT IT! **bolts from floor **SIX FLAGS!

aidan: YESSSSSSSSSCCCCCHHHHHHHH!

aidan and me drag the others and jump up and down excitedly: LET'S GO TO SIX FLAGS! LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

dimitri: All right. I guess. Adrian, Christian, let's go.

aidan and me: **YAY!**

**we all head to six flags, aidan continuously harassing adrian and christian and me verbally abusing dimitri and eating lots of popcorn/ FOOD from over priced vendors. ****bitches****.**

**after about 3 hours of non stop craziness dimitri's had it and takes us back home. Adrian's smashed. Again. and Christian is tied to Aidan (**_**funny story...) **_**and me and dimitri arguing. Again.**

me: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I'M MORE SCHMAZING THAN YOU BECAUSE I HAVE BLOG (.com) AND A CAPT. JACK POSTER!

dimitri: i'm a guardian. a _badass _guardian. and the love of my life. i think, _you're _jealous.

me: (with CAPT. JACK! the crowbar and abuses dimitri) **!**

that being done, christian fearful of his life, a pyscho aidan and a blitzed adrian i start speaking in a british accent.

me: don't be such a daft lad, boy. get up!

you're a bloody idiot, just what are you doing.

dimitri: **very pissed**

me: (somehow driving the car, captain jack appears in the road. i hit the brakes _whoa wait i'm not even tall! who cares!_

me: OH SHIT IT'S CAPTAIN JACK!

me: **obsessed with captain jack **HI JACK! HEY CAPTAIN JACK! IT'S YOUR SCHMAZING FAN JAZMIN. LOOK WHAT I MADE FOR YOU? A SCARF MADE FROM WOOL FROM A LAMB IN SRI LANKA. IT'S DYED BLUE TO MATCH YOUR WHOLE OUTFIT THING. SORRY IT'S LATE I MEANT IT TO BE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT BUT I COULDN'T FIND YOUR ADRESS AND -

**dimitri cuts in**

me: BEEEEEETCH! (**attack dimitri with CAPT. JACK **crowbar**)**

**captain jack has taken the scarf and gave me a button from his jacket.**

captain jack: a pleasure to meet you all but i have to go now. Thank you Jazmin!

**captain jack leaves **

me: OH SNAP! BYE JACK! WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? PROBABLY SO 'CAUSE I'M SO SCHMAZING! JACK REMEMBER TO TAKE ME WITH YOU ON YOUR NEXT MISSION SO WE CAN FIGHT ALIENS. I CAN SHOOT A GUN _REALLY GOOD! _JACK? JACK? OH WELL BYE JACK REMEMBER OUR DEAL!

**sighs **

ahh, what a great guy. what do you think !

!: **CRICKET CRICKET**

me: OH SNAP ME TOO!

**and that's all for right now folks. remember watch torchwood or any show i mentioned and we'll be best buds. no joke. oh and check out my blog. oh yeah i advertised on here!**

**dimitri; **_**groans in pain**_

**adrian: **_**snores**_

**christian: help!**

**me and aidan; BYEZZZZ!**

**UR FAVORITE TEENS!**

**xoxo**

**p.s: **

**REVIEWS PLEASEEEEEE! i love 'em and hug 'em and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (yes even bad ones , cuz those STILL HAVE THOUGHT IN THEM!)**


	6. Weird, random shit

_**hey everyone, it's your favorite crazie, me!**_

_**i had to write the last one because well i haven't written in foorever!**_

me: *with ! (the crowbar...)* i'm soo bored!

_smacks dimitri with !_

dimitri: OWW SON OF A B*** (and other words i won't say... :D)

me; WATCH YOUR MOUTH! (_smacks w/ ! abbreviated as CJ now...)_

dimitri: WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!

me: ummm, (_moves foot side to side, twirling a lock of hair and thinking)_ i was sent to an insane asylum and fought off purple unicorns that wanted to sacrifice me and then i was trapped in a room full of hungry vampires but I SCARED THEM OFF and then my mom sent my to that psycologist who said i had a lucid imagination and gave me-

dimitri: you have problems, you know that?

me: (_in astonishment) _that's what my school counselor said!

dimitri:...

me: so anyway, today we're going shopping.

dimitri: why?

me: i need new clothes so let's go.

wait, i can't drive... DIMITRI! drive.

dimitri: no. i won't listen to you

me: (in Taxi Driver accent!) you talkin' to me? you talkin' to _me_? (_with menacing CJ!)_

dimitri: *gulp*

me: that's what i thought. Drive!

_later on at mall, which dimitri has been forced to watch me pick out tons of clothes_

me: so which shirt is better; the one with stripes or the flannel one?

dimitri: _chin in his hand _the flannel.

me: really? I liked the stripes one.

dimitri: then get the stripes.

me: seriously? the flannel one can be accessorized and...

dimitri: WHAT THE F***! JUST PICK ONE.

me: 1) watch the french and 2) ok, I'll get both

dimitri: *facepalm*

me: let's go, fabio.

dimitri: my name's not fabio.

me: .

dimitri: _mutter under breath some stuff in russian i'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to repeat_

me: oh quiet, be glad we're not watching twilight.

dimitri: why is that _so _popular?

me: i dunno. why are _you _popular?

dimitri: at least i'm not a sparkly bitch...

me: hahaha, you're funny!

do i know you?

dimitri: i'm dimitri belikov.

me: _really! _I know a guy like that!

except he's mean to me... but i have CJ to protect me!

dimitri belikov: uhhhh

dimitri: NO WAIT STOP JAZMIN!

me: oh hey dimitri. did you know there's a twin EXACTLY like you?

dimitri: *facepalm*

me: bitch

dimitri: let's just go.

me: 'kay! i want candy though.

**after an accident involving; me, a shopping cart, target employees, and a giant box of candy. Never again...**

policeman rick: jazmin you're coming with us.

me: NEVER RICK! why me? arrest him too ***points at dimitri* **he committed statutory rape!

rick: WTF? your cell is ready...

**in jail now...**

me: it's fine, really.

dimitri: we're in _jail._

me: you've been to jail. it's been worse.

dimitri: why is the cell have a reserved sign... _for you?_

me: don't ask.

dimitri: how does this get better?

me: well, they can't hold us longer than 24 hours so get comfy.

**a few hours pass, dimitri's on the bed and I'm making music. tin cup against the bars, singing the blues.**

me: na na na, i got into jail, na na na, i'm so bored, na na na, what the hell?, na na na -

dimitri: .

me: no, YOU shut up.

**dimitri and i get into a fight, when finally adrian comes and bails us out.**

adrian: i'm here to bail out the cradle robber and my dashing friend the writer.

rick: oh, you_ know_ her?

adrian: yup.

rick: good luck with that. ***opens jail door and i run out and death hug adrian and rick***

me: thank you!

rick: _can't...breathe..._

dimitri: WTF?

me: **whispers** shut up and let's go.

**in car, adrian driving, me sitting shotgun and dimitri in the back.**

me: THAT WAS BLOODY FANTASTIC! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!

ahh, no, my mom's gonna be pissed...

dimitri: let's not.

adrian: you guys went to jail. that makes dimitri; two times there and jazmin...

me: trust me, rick knows i've been there one time too many.

dimitri&adrian: O_o

me: yup, that cell was reserved. dimitri knows.

adrian: ...

me: INCOMING!

**gigantic truck almost kills us. **

me: AHH! I DON'T WANNA DIE!

adrian: THE FUCK?

dimitri: USE HER AS THE SHIELD!

**gigantic truck still there.**

me: **sobbing **ADRIAN DIMITRI, I NEED TO TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING!

adrian&dimitri: WHAT?

me: I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I HAD ROSE ORGANIZE THE FIGHT CLUB AND THAT I USED YOUR CREDIT CARD ADRIAN AND THAT I DELIBERATELY PISS OFF DIMITRI!

dimitri&adrian: WHAT THE FUCK!

me: AHHHHH!

**truck passes and we're still alive, now at home sitting in my room.**

me: Wow, that was fun! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!

dimitri and adrian: HELLS NO!

me: your right and i'm playing final fantasy sooo...

**gazillion hours later, me addicted to Final Fantasy**

me: UP YOURS ORPHAN BITCH!

dimitri: the hell is going on...

me: FUCK YOOU TOO BARTHANDELUS!

adrian: she's been drinking coffee and playing this game for hours...

me: FUCKING BITCHES!

**me: well that's all for right now.**

**dimitri: i'm scared of you.**

**me: *smiles* you should...**

**adrian: well then while jazmin gets off her recent **_**high... **_**bye for now!**

**me: mehehehe**

**adrian and dimitri: looking at me funny**

**me: you bitches...**

**adrian: remember what your psychiatrist said jazmin...**

**me: UP HIS!**

**dimitri: we have to go now...**

**adrian: later bitches.**

**me: HAHAHA**

**byez everyone!**

**it's better this way :DDD**


	7. Battle of the Fictional Characters

last time... screw the recap ON WITH THE STORY!

*banging head against american studies textbook*

me: I DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR FREAKING GOVERNMENT!

dimitri: then shut up and read the book

me: *in valley girl voice* umm why you such a beeyatch?

dimitri: are you on something?

me: no beeyatch I like this voice.

dimitri: issues.

me: beeyatch! anyway we're introducing new characters on here. Please welcome *DRUM ROLL PLEASE* bookluver98 aka Anna and Jakey!

*taped audience clapping*

anna: HEY!

Jakey: where are we?

Dimitri: SANE PEOPLE!

*Anna talking to a plant, it's weird get over it*

Jakey: make that sane person.

Dimitri: *runs and hugs Jakey, sobbing* I THOUGHT I'D DIE HERE ALONE! BUT SOME GOD LOVES ME SOMEWHERE THAT HE GAVE ME A SANE FRIEND. SANE!

me: ohhhkayy, anna come over here and help me make this story SCHMAZING!

guess what I ran a fight club, umm 5-6 chapters ago. IT WAS SCHMAZING AND I MADE OVER A MILLION BUCKS, WANNA MAKE ANOTHER FIGHT CLUB!

anna: YES!

me: SCHMAZING. okay we're going to have to get a lot of players in here though. umm, let's make a list.

anna: OKAY! let's bring in the wolf pack, emmet and alice!

me: ehh on the wolf pack, yes on emmet and alice.

anna: how about seth and leah?

me: okay! now how about the Salvatore Bros? or Fang? or Lexi and Caroline? maybe some final fantasy characters?

anna: I don't care I just wanna see a fight.

me: YES! let me get out my purple magic book.

anna: you have a purple magic book!

me: YES!

anna: i want one...

me: okay hang on let me find other characters to bring in here!

*all characters appear plus others;

the list:

damon, stefan,lexi, katherine, bonnie, caroline, fang, iggy, christian!, angel, spike, buffy, dean ,ruby( katie cassidy version!) sam, jace, isabelle, clary,cloud, zach, tifa, lightning, yuna, sephiroth, claudia (from Anne Rice books), and rose *

Anna: YAY!

Everyone else: THE FUCK ARE WE AT?

Rose: I don't know but I'm getting outta here *whips out stake*

Ruby: Well ain't this fun?

me: MUAHAHA, sup beeyatches. you're all here to fight each other.

bonnie: why?

me: i'm bored so is anna here *points to anna, who's busy admiring the purple book*

jace: no FUCKING WAY I'M FIGHTING A GIRL!

tifa: you couldn't take me out.

jace: oh really?

tifa: *gets in his face* yeah, _little boy_. You can't handle this.

jace: BRING IT BITCH!

me: yeah! NO WAIT I NEED TO RECORD THIS *whips out camera, set's it up on a tripod* Ohhkayyy GO!

(jace and tifa start fighting)

anna: OOOHHH!

me: whoa there! (tifa gets thrown across the room, gets back up and retaliates with an upper cut and rapidly fired punched)

that's gonna leave a mark... KICK HER ASS JACE!

*cloud, zach, lightning, yuna and sephiroth stare at me*

Sorry guys but Final Fantasy is kicking my ass right now...

Bonnie: what the fuck is wrong with you.

me: everything.

dimitri: *fearfully nods*

buffy: question to the russian, why are you her bitch?

me: HAHAHA, why isn't he?

buffy: well i don't know, maybe because he's at least 12 years older than you and should be able to hurt you.

(fighting in the background, tifa and jace are SCARY!)

me: well, I have a crowbar named CJ, which stood for captain jack and i'm just a tiiiny bit psychotic. just a liiiitle bit.

buffy: okay then.

me: question for the slayer girl; why'd you fuck two vampires, neither of which stayed manly afterward... okay maybe a bit.

buffy: that's my business.

me: really? 'cause if I'm correct you had a tv show dedicated to you as well as your own comics. and you *did it* with another girl. Awkward for little old me...

buffy: 0_0 seriously?

me: seriously. oh and they made a disgrace of you Angel. They nicknamed you TWILIGHT and you was a bad guy. THE FUCK IS WITH THE NAME TWILIGHT?

Angel: shit...

Spike: bloody hell, did they bash me too?

me: not really. you were the same badass spike! (runs to hug him) YOU'RE SCHMAZING!

Spike: I like this writer, better than bloody Whedon who made me a freaking puppet?

me: that was a good episode... "you're a bloody puppet!" LMFAO!

emmett: so what now?

me: EMMETT! (tackles him) HI EMMETT! HEY EMMETT, DID YOU KNOW YOU'RE SO SCHMAZING AND THE BEST CHARACTER OF THE TWILIGHT VAMPS NEXT TO ALICE AND I REALLY WANTED YOU TO HAVE MORE BOOK TIME BUT THE BITCH MEYER WOULDN'T GIVE YOU THE CREDIT SO I WROTE HER AN ANGRY LETTER BUT SHE DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE LETTER, SO NOT MANY PEOPLE ADMIRED YOU'RE EPICNESS. CAN I WRITE MY OWN SPINOFF ABOUT ME AND YOU FIGHTING CRIME AND BLOWING UP CARS AND BEING CALLED THE DYNAMIC DUO?

emmett: Yeah.

me: AND CAN YOUR SUPERHERO NAME BY THE SCHMAZING EMMETT WITH THE DASHING SIDEKICK AUTHOR?

emmett: Yeah. (smiles)

me: *SQUEAL*

damon: that was so fucking annoying! can you shut up?

me: stuff it man-whore! at least i don't have an ex-girlfriend who rejected me 'cuz i wasn't good enough

everyone: Oooohhhhh!

Katherine: she got you good.

me: HEY KATHERINE CAN I CALL YOU KAT BECUZ YOU'RE SCHMAZING AND DESERVE YOUR OWN SPINOFF OF EATING PEOPLE AND TORMENTING OTHERS?

kat: i like this one...

me: :D

damon: bitch.

me: oh get off it damon. Stefan's better than you.

everyone: OOOHHH!

damon: why you little...!

me: UH-UH-UH, you come within a foot of me, i will hurt you.

damon; how? (steps forward)

**all of a sudden, i whip out CJ and knock damon senseless.**

everyone: whoa..

buffy: that's one bitch _i'm _not messing with.

me: :D

bonnie: i like her too. i'm on her side.

me: YAY! i'm popular! oh and if you're on my side, you're on anna's too.

everyone: okay

anna and me: YEAH!

me: lets watch the fight. how long has it been going?

anna: around seven minutes.

me: epic.

**everyone turns to watch the brawl, jace and tifa are so intent on crippling each other, they're a tangled mess, and you can't really tell who is who.**

claudia: that's hot.

me: scared now...

KICK HIS ASS TIFA; YOU GOT THIS JACE.

MAKE HIM HURT, TIF! WOOT JACE, YOU DA MAN!

everyone: o_o

me: what? *mumbles* i have a problem choosing _one._

**tifa and jace keep punching each other, one after another.**

jace: *exhales* die...

tifa: *pants* never.. you first...

jace: never you bitch

tifa: really, LOOK OVER THERE CLARY'S BEING MAULED BY A VAMPIRE.

clary: WhaT?

jace: **turns around scary fast** WHERE? IMMA KICK HIS ASS!

tifa: psyche! **delivers the death blow, a fatal upper-jab**

me: **ringing announcer bell DING DING **WE GOT A WINNER; TIFAAAAAAA LOCKHEART.

JACE WAYLAND IS OOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUT!

jace: bitch.

me: hey i call 'em like i see 'em.

dimitri: Happy now?

me: nope, we have these schmazing fictional characters that i have to have a battle and -

STEFAN , ELENA GO MAKE OUT ELSEWHERE I DON'T WANN SEE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR TONGUES!

kat: what?

me: oh yeaahh, **starts backing away slowly ** did i mention you were replaced by elena?

kat: BITCHES! **goes over and makes out with damon**

me: whoa, didn't see that one coming...

anna: I WANNA SEE ANOTHER FIGHT!

me: fine, fine. Next up, BUFFY SUMMERS, the Slayer who's defeated everything from turok-han vamps to the First, is on one side and her opponent ***voice goes low and brings it up* **the loser with a rejected love life, bitch to Anna, werewolf-creeper but _amazing _body **voice up **JAKEE BLACK!

anna: YAY!

be sure to not turn his chip off though. he might eat you.

Jake: yes because i love the taste on human and vampire flesh soo much. (cue sarcasm)

anna: SHUT UP AND FIGHT!

me: **shoves jake into fight **

jake: WHAT?

buffy: bring it, pretty boy.

jake: RAWR! (not the cute one, the scary wolf one)

**buffy with a well placed kick and silver chains, defeats jake. Jake is on the floor tied with a silver chain**

jake: YOU BITCH!

anna: THAT. WAS. AMAZING!

me: don't ya love these fights?

anna: **nods head enthuisastically with a big smile**

I WANNA PURPLE MAGIC BOOK

me: laters peeps!

anna: PURPLE BOOK!

jakey: oww.

buffy: too easy.

Tifa: **unconscious**

Jace: **out cold**

Kat:** making out with damon**

Stefan: **making out with elena **

claudia: that's hot.

me: THAT'S PARIS HILTON'S FUCKING LINE! THE FUCK?

dimitri: I knew right when you brought in anna, the place would go to hell

me: i think you should go to hell, _rapist. _**threatens w/ CJ**

BYE EVERYONE I HOPE YOU REVIEW :D

SAY HI TO ANNA IN THE COMMENTS AND GIVE ME IDEAS ON WHO TO BRING IN AND IDEAS!


	8. BREAK

Oh ma gawd, this is total awkward turtle. I won't be able to write for a while because well my computer is being a b**** and this is from the home computer and I have to study and write a book and I NEED COFFEE!

so yeah, please don't kill me and I'll see you within a couple days to a week.

if you do decided to kill me, I have this to say; watch yourself son…..

KayThanxBii!


End file.
